


can't love me

by lostin_space



Series: quick little doodles [94]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: “Goddammit, Alex, don’t you get it? My husband is this fucking war hero! Do you have any idea how hard it is being married to someone that impressive?”
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: quick little doodles [94]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441564
Comments: 15
Kudos: 109
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	can't love me

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by doctor who

“Goddammit, Alex, don’t you get it? My husband is this fucking war hero! Do you have any idea how hard it is being married to someone that impressive?”

“What are you talking about?”

“If you’re that impressive… that amazing… and you are,” Michael said, bottom lip quivering, “Then you can’t love me. Not the way you say you do, you just can’t. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not possible.”

Alex sighed heavily, rubbing his face. He’d prepared for a lot of reactions whenever he brought Michael to his Air Force friend’s wedding as his date. They all had heard stories upon stories of Michael and they were eager to meet him since the two of them didn’t have a big wedding themselves to invite them to.

What he hadn’t prepared for was for Michael to have a breakdown after hearing stories about their time overseas.

“I’m not a war hero,” Alex said softly. He had no idea where to start. He went through his mind for couples counseling tips and literally anything that would calm him down enough to get from this one person bathroom to the car. “I love you so much, whatever I’ve done before we got together for real has nothing to do with the way I feel about you.”

Michael shook his head, taking a shuttered breath in as he sat on the toilet in an attempt to gather himself. He was shaking so bad that Alex could see it. He didn’t know what to do.

“I helped cover up a murder and you saved an entire town of innocent people from being bombed,” Michael said, voice weak. Alex stepped near him, weary of his leg as he tried to crouch down in front of him. He knew it’d be hell later, but it was worth it for right now. “You’re too good.”

“Hey, I’ve done a lot of shit I’m not proud of. And you? Michael, you saved Isobel’s life and you brought Max back from the dead–and that’s just scratching the surface. You have a massive, loving heart that I’m still learning from every day,” Alex whispered, pulling his hands away from his eyes to hold them in his own. Michael still avoided eye contact.

“We don’t make sense.”

“Who gives a fuck if we make sense?” Alex asked, “Listen to me. I know you say we’re cosmic and that we’re just drawn together despite what’s good or bad, which may be the case, but you know what? Regardless of that, I still choose you. Every fight we have, I made the decision to stay. On bad days when we annoy each other, I still choose to sleep beside you. I choose to kiss you and hold you and love you every day of my life. On purpose. Fuck whatever outside force kept pushing us together. I still make my own path and that’s you.”

Michael didn’t give a response, but he tipped his body forward enough to rest his head on Alex’s shoulder. Alex gave a little smile and hugged him, ignoring the pain in his leg. It was worth it.

“I love you more than anything and nothing is going to change that,” Alex promised him, kissing his ear that was burning red from his stress.

“Okay,” Michael said, “I love you too.”

“You okay enough to walk out of here?” Alex asked as he managed to stand up, feeling a little wobbly. Michael grabbed his hips to steady him and looked up at him with puffy eyes. “Let’s wash your face first and then we can go home.”

“I’m sorry I ruined the wedding.”

“Hey, you don’t ruin it,” Alex promised, smiling at him as he caressed his splotchy cheek, “They’re still married, they’re still partying. We can meet up with my friends in a less stressful environment next time.”

“Okay,” Michael agreed, standing up.

Alex watched as he splashed water onto his face, trying his damnedest to look like he wasn’t crying. He decided right then he would put more effort into showing that he loved him.

After all, that’s what husbands were for.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
